roses in my heart

You know what's discouraging? I was at a shower yesterday (that was delightful not discouraging) with a bunch of women (again, delightful not discouraging) where punch and snacks were plentiful. And, as usual, I did not have hardly anything and tried to keep to my eating plan and limit and balance those carbs with protein. I didn't even have a sip of the punch that everyone raved about, knowing it's sugar content would just be too high (and as usual there were no lower sugar beverages available, not even water?!), and I felt horribly guilty when I had a sliver of the ice cream cake at the appointed time(even though I had tried to balance it with some protein from the snack table, which was hard to find). The shower was a Hawaiian theme and we were all given hula skirts to wear when we came in, and in my hula skirt I was painfully aware that I was the largest woman there (hula skirts aren't particularly flattering for the hips, you know?!) I envied the others as they enjoyed all the treats they wanted and as they talked about chocolate and candy fetishes that they shared, and I wondered for about the bazillionth time in my life, "Why can they eat that and I can't?" Sometimes it can be discouraging trying so hard...