Tuesday, September 13, 2005

It's a Conspiracy!

In our home, we try so hard to make healthy choices for our family and set a good example for our daughter when it comes to eating and exercise, hoping that one day she will choose so on her own. We don't obsess about this, but we do try and live it out... And this means that Amanda doesn't get candies and chocolate bars EVERY day. Those are once-in-a-while treats. Oh trust me, she gets plenty of her favourite things, but in moderation, and we really try to make sure that she doesn't get a message that 'food is love'. We'd rather her feel loved by the way we care for her each day...the time we spend together as a family (special times and just every day times like supper at the table together every night or prayers together before bed every night), words of affirmation and love spoken consistently and often lavishly, and the way we serve each other as a family. But tonight I've decided that the rest of the world is all against us! Look at the teachers for one, they reward everything and anything they can throughout the day with candy and chocolate bars, and the Church is even in on it too?! I wish they would think about the message that this is sending. I mean, often they reward what should be expected behavior (like listening when the teacher is talking) with extra candy, and I just really think that food as a reward on a repeated basis sends a dangerous message. Is it just me, or do you worry about this too?


Donna said...

I just (maybe) over simplifying this...but if we get rewarded for doing things so much of the time, then it becomes a rather "Pavlov's dog theory"....do it to get the treat rather than "do it" because it's the natural and right thing to do.
example: if I paid my kids to do the dishes everynight...it's not a learning experience of sharing the family chores...it becomes a "earning" experience and the expectation that leads into that...is a bit disturbing!

Sherri said...

EXACTLY, Donna! ...and for that very reason we don't 'pay' Amanda for chores around the house (although admittedly we don't have her do many chores), but we're trying to teach her that this is our house and so we all help to take care of it...and that by doing so we are serving each other b/c we're family and we love each other.