Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Is It OK If I Rant Here?!

I can't really speak about the details here as it wouldn't be appropriate, but can I ask you this...why is it that some people (usually men) cannot understand that age can be a sensitive subject for some people (usually women)? (And that as a result, it is usually best to NEVER ask a woman her age!)

Now, for the most part, I think I'm usually at ease with my own age, but I know that that isn't always the case for everyone at every season in their lives, and I know there have been times when I have been sensitive...like, for example, when I turned 30 and was not married yet. Somehow I had always thought I would have been married by when I turned that magical number, but ce la vive, God had other plans for me... But still, having lived a few years as a single woman over 25 and then over 30 in the Church, I know that that is not an easy place to be, so I am especially sensitive to others in that place. Recently though, I could not make a man I know understand this fact when he was pressing about someone else's age, and in the aftermath of it, he actually said something that made me uncomfortable about my own age too...well, not my own age actually...he was talking about the age of a friend of mine, and I'm actually quite a bit younger than her, but I felt my own sensitivity rise when he lumped me into that catgory...you see, my friend will be turning 40 this year. Now I know that age is only a number, and that 40 isn't a bad number at that...they even say that 40 is the new 30, but I'm not ready to be it yet, so I didn't want this fella rushing me. My husband tells me that I barely look 30, but he's probably a bit biased, but the real reason behind my sensitivity on this one has something in common with what I felt when I was approaching 30... You see, we are hoping to conceive...and each year closer to 40 decreases the chances of that statistically, and so, I'm in NO hurry to do that. So please just give me my couple more years and try not to rush me because just as surely as it isn't easy for a for a single woman over 25 or 30, it isn't easy for a hopeful mom over 35.

OK, rant over. Please tell me I'm not crazy, because I surely could not get my point across to the fella I mentioned above!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can relate to your comments on age, marriage and children. I also struggled with this. When I turned 29, I only celebrated anniversaries. My wonderful child though on my 7th anniversary reminded me that it was actually 4 to 40 Birthday. Well, you know what I did then when I turned 40, you were there. I threw my own BIG SPLASH to celebrate Me, not my age!
Brenda E.

Donna said...

I TRY not to let the number of my chronological years be introduced into my thinking to often. My girlfriend switched careers, went back to school at 48, another friend did not have her first child until she was 40 - she WANTED it that way!!, yet another friend decided to NEVER have children and had the surgery to be sure it never happened at the huge age of 27, I never once asked them WHY? ...number crunching does not need to be done in regards to our life....leave that to the accountants. I should not have to justify why I had children when I was in my twenties, nor should I have to feel like I need to clarify MANY of the things I have done in regards to my family & my career. JUDGEMENTS such as when to have children, what you should look like at 40 or whatever age, the way we should dress, should be nullified, they have no value...just a matter of opinion.

just a few of my thoughts.......

Dawn said...

I have to deal with the age thing from a few people, my cousins wife to name one that really gets me.

To me my age is just a number, I am 35 but I don't feel it at all. My husband and I hope to have children, but we're still having fun being married. We've only been married 1 year, 3 months. Every time my cousin's wife turns around I have to hear all about my age, and how if I want children I better start now. You clock is ticking Dawn, non-stop from this girl. To me if/when we have children it will be a gift. My age has nothing to do with.

I try not to let age comments bother me, but to be honest at times it does.

Undercover Angel said...

I don't let age comments bother me. I'll be 37 in May. I'm not looking forward to 40 though...