roses in my heart

Come out of Hiding

I'm reading Brennan Manning's book, 'Abba's Child' -- amazing! ...and I'm only through the first chapter. I've been having thoughts of what it all means in light of today, Palm Sunday. Pastor Kelly at Church last night, spoke about how Jesus wept over the city as He rode into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday. Pastor Kelly spoke about how His heart was likely grieved by all the people who didn't know the truth yet. And I think that is probably true, but this morning, I've also been thinking that some of those tears were for the disciples or people who did know the truth but who had yet to receive the fullness of His love (even though He'd given it)... Here are some thoughts from Brennan Manning:

"One night a friend asked his handicapped son, "Daniel, when you see Jesus looking at you, what do you see in His eyes?"

After a pause, the boy replied, "His eyes are filled with tears, Dad."

"Why, Dan?"

An even longer pause, "Because He is sad."

"And why is He sad?"

Daniel stared at the floor. When at last he looked up, his eyes glistened with tears. "Because I'm afraid."

The sorrow of God lies in our fear of Him, our fear of life and our fear of ourselves....God's sorrow lies in our refusal to approach Him when we have...failed....

It is one thing to feel loved by God when our life is together and all our support systems are in place. Then self-acceptance is relatively easy...But what happens when life falls through the cracks? ...What happens when we come face-to-face with the human condition?...

Whether you understand it or not, God loves you, is present in you, lives in you, dwells in you, calls you, saves you and offers you an understanding and compassion which are like nothing you have ever found... God calls us to stop hiding and come openly to Him. God is the father who ran to His prodigal son when he came limping home. God weeps over us when shame and self-hatred immobilize us... God loves who we really are --whether we like it or not."

Later in the chapter, Manning goes on to say:

"It used to be that I never felt safe with myself unless I was performing flawlessly. My desire to be perfect had transcended by desire for God...Unwittingly I had projected onto God my feelings about myself. I felt safe with Him only when I saw myself as noble, generous, and loving, without scars, fears or tears. Perfect!

But on that radiant morning...I came out of hiding. Jesus removed the shroud of perfectionist performance and now, forgiven and free, I ran home. For I knew that I knew Someone was there for me...I finally felt all the words I have written and spoken about (His) stubborn, unrelenting Love. That morning, I understood that the words are but straw compared to the Reality. I leaped from simply being the teacher of God's love to becoming Abba's delight."

Out in the Open
by Amy Grant

They were the sweetest words I'd ever heard
My heart could barely take it in
Like water offered to the lips
Of a tired and thirsty man

Cuz it's a tangled web I've woven
I don't know all the reasons
But it amazes me to wake up
To your mercy every morning

So I'm standing here spinning around
In the fields of freedom
And I'm still alive and reaching out
And I can feel the healing

Cuz you say
Come on out come on out
Come on out come on out
Out in the open
Come on out come on out
Come on out come onout
Into the light
There is no jury
There is no judge
Ready and waiting
Are the steady arms of love

For the sake of never making waves I
Kept my secrets to myself
And no one ever really knew the
Darker shadows of my heart

But I will be a witness
That there's nothing in me dark enough
The power of forgiveness
Cannot rescue from the deep

So I'm standing here spinning around
In the fields of freedom
And I'm still alive and reaching out
And I can feel the healing

And you say
Come on out come out
Come on out come out
Out in the open
Come on out come on out
Come on out come on out
Into the light
There is no jury
There is no judge
Ready and waiting
Are a steady arms of love