I've always known I'm a bit of a lopsided person...some would say much too much of a feeler. And I've spent my whole life working on my weaknesses to try to make them into strengths...trying to balance myself (and that takes a lot of work). So when my Pastor spoke a couple of weeks ago, he really caught my attention when he said that maybe I'm lopsided on purpose...that maybe God means for me to have the weaknesses I have (and the strengths), and maybe He doesn't mean for me to strive to turn those weaknesses into strengths. (See quotes from his sermon below).
I'm still working through what I think and feel about this. Part of me is comforted by the thought; part of me is affirmed; and part of me wants to rest in it...("Cease striving and know that [He is] God" Psalm 46:10) But there is also a part of me, if I'm honest, that despairs about that...what if this is it, the best I can be? These past few weeks on Wednesday nights at Encounter, we've been studying the letters to the seven churches in Revelation, and I would be lying if I didn't admit that I see some of the things God admonishes them for in my life. I've not lived a single day perfectly and am aware that I am so human that I can't even confess my sins perfectly. So on the one side I want to be able to accept my weakness and rest in that God knew what He was doing when He made me (weaknesses and all), but on the other hand I feel this need to do whatever I can to turn my weaknesses around because God deserves that. I am such a ragamuffin...in need of His grace each day! Only His Spirit can comfort me, conform me and make me what He wants for me to be!
“Before I formed you in the womb – I knew you . . . and before you were born I set you apart.” Jeremiah 1:5
"These folks are amazing words . . . what is God saying? He’s saying – I knew you before you were (not before you were born – before you were . . . I knew you . . . .) . . . and that knowledge determined what and who you would become . . . . . . God said. . . . . . I thought about what kind of person I needed next and then I created you in my mind (first) . . . see (God said) . . . I always think before I do . . . and I liked what I thought . . . so I made you to be that thought – I made what I knew and I always know best.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. Before you were born I set you apart” And so the question becomes, God . . . what were you thinking about when you knew me before you made me?
Did you catch that? It’s an important question – God . . . what were you thinking about when you knew me before you made me?
See folks, I believe the answer to that question is the meaning of life . . . . . and then God goes on to say . . . . when I formed you . . . I gave you strengths and weaknesses . . . He said, . . . I don’t want these things to be strengths . . . – they’re weaknesses . . . and I don’t want you to be well-rounded – a little bit of this and a little bit of that – God says no . . . you will have some weaknesses and that’s ok.
And You now what – our society is so backwards . . . our society says – lets focus on our weaknesses . . . Let’s try to make our weaknesses our strengths . . . It
says don’t focus on your strengths you’re already good at those . . . . . .Instead focus on getting your weaknesses stronger . . . and God says – that’s
crazy – they’re weaknesses!! (and they always will be)."
Past Dean Angell, Lakeview Church