There was no try in this guy...
This morning I've been thinking about several things that I saw in the men's short program last night. The first is, of course, the disappointing skate of Emmanuel Sandu from Canada. I really thought that he finally had it together...was training hard and had the drive, but just a few seconds into his program, my hopes for him, on this night, fell apart...
The second thing I've been thinking about is what I saw in several of the other top skaters...Plushenko, Joubert, Lindemann (surprise from Germany)... I saw fight! Plushenko's quad was not perfect in the air...neither was his axle, but he fought for the landings...there was no way he was going to fall! I saw that in Joubert and Lindemann too...one of the jumps, in particular, was leaning so bad in the air that I have no idea how he landed it?! It seemed a pure act of will that there was no way that he was NOT going to land it.
In talking about Sandu, the CBC commentator said, "maybe what we all want for Emanuel he doesn't want for himself." Maybe? I mean, he has the goods...he has the talent, skill, athleticism and artistry to win the World Championships...to win the Olympics. He proved three months ago at the Grand Prix Final that he can beat Plushenko, the reigning World Champ, but when his performance really mattered, last night, he seemed to not try. I don't think I'm being too hard on him...I don't think that he just couldn't have salvaged his jumps...I watched him approach the take offs...and he didn't appear to try. Is he afraid of what he is capable of?...and so it's easier to throw it away rather than really try and see?...
Are we the same sometimes? I don't know...all I know is that I didn't see a skater out there who believed in what was great within him. He seemed scared to find out that he wasn't great, so he didn't try...
Day to day we each see flashes of greatness in our lives. Things can be going along so well, and then suddenly we let go...scared that maybe we're not doing as well as we are. We let a passing comment or a minor occurance shake our confidence and we can start to feel bad about how we're doing. The question at this point is, "what are we going to do about it?" Are we going to give up and stop trying so what we fear isn't proven OR are we going to fight?!
Back in University, I remember once or twice being given a mark that I felt was lower than what I deserved. I remember on one occasion talking to my Prof about it, and he seemed to feel that I hadn't as fully demonstrated mastery of the material as he wanted. I remember accepting his comments, but walking away and thinking in my mind, "I'll show you!" ...and I did! ...kind of like Plushenko and Joubert and Lindemann last night...there was nothing that was going to stop them from landing those jumps...they wanted it that bad! (...and there was nothing that was going to stop me from demonstrating what I knew to that Prof at that time either!)
That's the way I feel about my family. Being a wife and mom has a steep learning curve to it, and I can be sailing along doing my best for a long time, and then the enemy can taunt me with thoughts that it just isn't good enough. The question is, "what am I going to do in those moments?" I can either quit trying so what I fear cannot be proven OR I can fight! ...and I love my dear husband and darling daughter too much not to fight! Being Les' wife is God's will for me (since before I was born), and being Amanda's mom was ordained by God long before I even had wind of it....
so there is no way that I will not 'land my jumps' even if sometimes they are leaning
in the air!
"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised."
(Eph 10:35-36)
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
(Isa 41:10)
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